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Poems and Prayers and Delight Full Thoughts Support Children |
Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon it has taken me a tremendous amount of effort and determination to discover what my gifts are and how to share them. This is probably because I was never satisfied that what I had to offer was good enough. As I began to realize how difficult it was to accept less than perfection I asked my creator for insight as to where this came from. The answer, weeds! Comparison, false expectations and feelings of failure were what I was hanging on to. I didn’t know how to delight in who I was created to be. My passion is to see children enjoy their uniqueness rather than strive so hard to please others and be discouraged because they are not like someone else. Music is a wonderful opportunity to dance for sheer joy. In order for this to happen it is helpful if parents and their children have a healthy sense of self and delight in being an integral part of this world. How do we get a healthy sense of our self and delight in the gifts we have to share? The words of a song are going through my mind. “You gotta talk to one who made you. Talk to the one who understands…” I was busy trying to accomplish a dream of setting up a studio where I could use my gifts as a teacher and nurture relationships with parents and children. I became more frustrated as I realized I didn’t really have what it took to make this thing fly. Then when things seemed to be rolling along I had a car accident. Just whiplash! That became my obstacle because I experienced pain and was discouraged when the medical world didn’t believe me. My family thought I was making a big deal of things but I began to feel more helpless. I continued but started feeling defeated and that what I did would never be good enough. After a year of trying to carry on because I wasn’t a quitter I thought I heard God whisper “Stop the music!” For a year I didn’t serve in the world. I didn’t use my training which included a Bachelor of Education with Orff music specialization, and training in Kindermusik as well as Musikgarten Early Childhood music and movement. I took time to talk to the master designer so the tangled threads of the tapestry could be woven into a beautiful work of art designed by a master mind instead of my feeble attempt. More words of a song come to mind. The words remind me that when we come to the end of everything we try to do to make our life worth something then our creator sprinkles light and love and it blooms the way he intended. Something beautiful, something good. All my confusion he understood. All I had to offer him was brokenness and strife but he made something beautiful of my life. Gradually I discovered practical and contemplative ways to get off my perfectionist highway. Steps I took to get on track included personal coaching, talking and praying in small supportive groups as well as reading many books on Life Purpose and how to have a Life Make Over including goal setting and time management. I learned how to rest and relax, set priorities and enjoy smelling flowers and have enough energy for important relationships. Before, I often ran away from being a homemaker by being busy with other things. This was a good opportunity to learn how to care for my home and family which includes my husband and two almost grown up children and my dog. During my rest I began to hear a voice saying walk this way. Do not strive! Gradually I learned what that meant. I am still tempted to look at what others are doing but then I talk to the one who made me. I gradually began to hear an encouraging voice. One sunny day I woke hearing the words “We come from De Light.” Now my life revolves around believing that my creator who delights in me, is light and the light of the world, Jesus spirit is in me and surrounding me. I use to fear darkness and suffer from anxiety but now I am learning about De Light. Find out more: Poems, Prayers and Delight – Full thoughts |

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